


Instead of cuts

by Freepoetynightmare



Series: Puzzle pieces AU [3]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Human AU, Insecure Morality | Patton Sanders, Kissing, Lamp - Freeform, Morality | Patton Sanders-centric, Multi, Self Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:33:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25358515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Freepoetynightmare/pseuds/Freepoetynightmare
Summary: Patton doesn't want to cut anymore. This is how his boyfriends helped.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil/Creativity | Roman/Logic | Logan/Morality | Patton
Series: Puzzle pieces AU [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1836193
Kudos: 104





	Instead of cuts

Things were better and worse for Patton. Better in that he had never been happier. He didn’t have just one, but three amazing boyfriends! He had gotten a raise at work, and started seeing a therapist after Roman did.

Everything was great. So why did the voice in his head never shut up?

Everyday it whispered about just how much he didn’t deserve any of this. That one day he was going to wake up and it was all just a cruel joke, that they laughed at how he believed they ever loved him.

When the voice was at its worst he used to cut. He tore into his skin to shut it up. He couldn’t do that anymore. It wasn’t fair to his boyfriends. It wasn’t fair to himself.

He was rubbing his wrist and wished he still had his knife. He knew that he needed to go to one of the others and since Roman was the only one that didn’t work in the morning he went to him.

He took a deep breath and knocked on the door, despite it being two in the morning. 

“Come in?” Came the sleeping voice from inside. 

He opened the door and stepped into Roman’s room. Roman saw who it was and woke up more, sitting up in bed and turning on a lamp. 

“Hey...I...Need to not be alone right now.” Patton said.

Roman shifted closer to the edge opposite Patton and patted the bed next to him. Patton closed the door and then crawled into bed next to Roman. Roman put his arms around him, “Rough night?” He asked, sleep heavy in his voice.

Patton nodded against his chest. 

“Want to talk about it?” Roman asked.

“I..Was going to cut again.” He admitted.

“Did you?” Roman said more awake.

He shook his head, “I wanted to. So I came here.”

“You did the right thing. I’m proud of you mi amor.” Roman said pressing a kiss to the top of Patton’s head.

“It doesn’t feel like it.” He grumbled.

“The right thing sometimes doesn’t feel right.” Roman agreed. “But...We’ve got to be there for each other.” 

“And you aren’t tired of me being so weak yet?” Patton asked.

Roman pulled back so he could see his face. “Are you tired of me being tired all the time?”

“No! You can’t help that you’re sick!” Patton cried.

Roman smiled, Patton blinked. “Fair point.” He muttered.

Roman laughed. “Sleep. I’ll be here.”

“Are you just saying that because You’re tired?” Patton said with a smile.

“Of course not! Now shush! Sleep time.” Roman said turning off the light and cuddling Patton to his chest. Patton lifted his head and pressed a kiss to Roman’s lips. Roman smiled.

He drifted off to sleep and Patton lay there in his arms. He felt loved. 

The voice was quiet.

\---

“Oops!” Patton said, his hand slipping with the cooking knife and nicking his wrist. He froze as he watched blood bubble up along the short cut.

“You ok?” Virgil asked. When Patton didn’t respond he walked over. Seeing the cut he gently took the knife from him. “It’s fine. We’ll bandage it up no problem.” He said smoothly.

Patton still didn’t reply. 

“Pat.” Patton finally looked at him. “It’s ok. It was an accident.”

“I...I know… I just.” Patton swallowed his eyes, dropping to the cut. He took a deep breath. “I’m going to clean this.” He said he got to the bathroom and locked the door. 

He halfway through taking apart a razor for the blade when he realized what he was doing and dropped it in the sink. He shook his head in slow jerking movements and looked in the mirror. He was better than this.

Was he though? He was crumbling. 

Go ahead. You’re already this far. The voice whispered. 

He shook his head. He was not going to fail. He was better than this. He put the razor back together and cleaned his wound. It didn’t even need a bandage but he put on anyway.

He stepped out of the bathroom and found Virgil waiting. “Your wrists?” He held out his hands.

Patton didn’t resist the check. Virgil looked him over and sighed. He pulled him into a hug. “You scared me.”

“I’m sorry.” Patton said.

“It’s fine. I’ll do the rest of the chopping for tonight, ok?” Virgil said.

Patton was about to disagree. Tell him he didn’t have to. But Virgil had that spark in his eyes that said he wasn’t backing down. “Alright. That’s for the best.” 

Virgil smiled, “Don’t worry about it. Besides, we’ll get done twice as fast this way.”

Patton laughed, “Only if we get started.” 

“In a minute.” Virgil said before kissing him. “There. Now we can go.”

Patton smiled.

The voice wasn’t there at the moment.

\---

“Are you alright?” Logan asked.

Patton shrugged as he sat at the kitchen table a full cup of cold coffee in front of him. 

“Ah. Bad day?” He asked sitting down.

“Rough week.” Patton responded. “I just keep messing up! You should dump me before I mess up even more.”

“And here I thought being overly dramatic was Roman’s specialty.” 

Patton stared at him, fighting to keep the smile from his lips. He failed. 

Logan smiled back at him,”There’s my patton.” 

His Patton. His heart seemed to skip a beat. “Oh? I’m yours? Since when?”

“Three months, two weeks, one day, and” He glanced at his phone, “eighteen hours.”

Patton laughed. “I didn’t know that’s how dating works.” 

“My apologies. I was attempting to be...romantic. I seemed to have failed.” Logan said, frowning.

Patton waved his hand, “You’re fine. I don’t mind...I..like it. Actually.” 

Logan’s frown vanished. He stood and moved around the table to Patton’s side. He put a hand on Patton’s cheek. 

“May I kiss you?” He asked.

Patton nodded. 

Logan pressed his lips to Patton’s.

“Get a room.” Virgil said walking in. 

“We are in a room.” Logan said.

“Smart ass.” Virgil said with a smirk as he pulled an energy drink out of the fridge. 

“I try.” Logan said seriously. Virgil laughed.

“What’s so funny?” Roman asked, sticking his head in.

“Logan.” 

“Ah yes. The local comedian.” Roman said nodding his head gravily.

Logan sighed, “I believe the mood is ruined.”

“I don’t think so.” Patton said, pulling Logan into another kiss.

Roman cheered. “Me next!” 

“No fair. I was here first!” Virgil said.

“I believe I was here first.” Logan said.

“Nooo. Pretty sure I was in the kitchen before you.” Patton joked.

Logan blinked. “Ah. Yes. You were. My mistake.” 

Patton laughed. 

He was loved and he knew it.


End file.
